Fast way to build self-esteem (Transition: overcome self-sabotage)
SITUATION
3:00 am, one morning in 2009, I was dropping my husband off to work, when the BBC World Service aired a podcast that shaped my life. It was a story of the National Health Service investigating why a declining steel town in England had the highest prescription drug rate for anti-depressants in the nation. Since the mills closed, the fathers were sitting alone in the pubs, the youth roamed the streets, and the mothers popped pills, in quiet depression. (In fact, the statistic of this city is one of the highest per capita in prescription anti-depressants is what triggered an onsite evaluation). Sending in teams of investigators, the researchers were looking into the situation. The mental health team listed three contributing causes. Eagerly I listened for the causes, and their solutions.
The inability to control the situation, uncertainty, can contribute to feeling lost, depressed, and unmotivated – a victim.
The BBC newscast cited three contributors to the situation of depression, vandalism, breakdown of support systems, and drug use in the dying town:
Boredom, Low self-esteem, Depression
Lack of Structure, and
Social Isolation.
As I eagerly awaited the solutions, I was surprised when they continued, “On to our next story.” (What!?!)
ACTION
I am used to having answers given, so I was unsettled. After talking it over sometime later with Nelly, she asked me, “So what would your solutions be?” Thus, began a multi-year investigation of my own.
My key, to feeling down when tossed into new situations, was to learn this nugget:
“A fast way to build self-esteem is to create a plan and do it.”
When you succeed in one thing after another, you feel better.
MAKE A PLAN is a good beginning, especially when mixed with the next two steps.
- If Boredom, Low self-esteem, Depression
Then, MAKE A PLAN to new options - If Lack of structure,
Then, SET A SCHEDULE with someone to hold you accountable.
and - If Social Isolation
Then, WORK WITH OTHERS to a common goal.
RESULT
My friends and I started meeting weekly or monthly. We watched technical videos, learned to use office software, and learned new methods, like LEAN. One lady complained about her boss, week after week, until another said, ” You know we all have the same boss, right? We agree with you, that’s why we are here to learn new skills – so we can transfer. If you want to learn, then learn, otherwise go and complain somewhere else.” In the company’s reorganization that lady was laid off and the rest of us moved to new groups where we used our methods, tools, and ideas to show we were better, faster, and worth more.
APPLICATION
In the Change Champions GET UNSTUCK course, we show the top 12 self-sabotage ideas we have observed hold people back. It took us 20 years to prove what REALLY is effective to overcome those in today’s world. You can get the wisdom in three modules, and choose which you want to add to your life now.
GET UNSTUCK includes:
- Find the PATH that is right for YOU (Strategic Positioning)
- Look DOWN the ROAD (Situational Awareness)
- Prepare for the WAY AHEAD (Coping Mechanisms)